Me, Marriage & Motherhood: Week Two
ME…
I excused my way out of coming here time and time again throughout the day. I kept telling myself, “oh I can do it later” and now later has come and had I not of committed to coming here weekly…I smooth would have said f it and kept it moving this evening.
I’ve had quite a few awarenesses lately and part of me is overwhelmed in seeing these pieces and parts of me. Not overwhelmed because I’m seeing them for the first time but overwhelmed because I’ve seen them MANY times and they carry with them A LOT of resistance. It’s like I know it would serve me to move differently but I get stuck when it comes time to move differently or I talk myself out of moving differently…
Not going to dwell here as I know where dwelling in stuck points leads me and today I chose with intention not to go there…
Marriage…
I am sOoO in love with my Hubby right now…my goodness!?!? We’re in a good space and vibing sOoO beautifully. I want these blissful moments to last forever but I know they don’t so instead of trying to stretch them out…I just want to allow myself to be as present as possible in the unfolding and allow what will be to be when that time comes. I have a tendency of planning for the worse like it buffers the blow but it never does. I just feel icky and miserable while planning for the worse and then a whole cluster f when the blow does hit because the blow never hits as plan and oftentimes the blow I’m preparing myself for isn’t even the blow that comes. Recently I started planning for joy, bliss, happiness, connection, and fun when it comes to envisioning a moment outside of the present when it comes to my Hubby & I. I know the ebb and flow of relationship will happen but I choose to put my time, energy, and attention into what could go right, what adventures we could have, what magical moments could transpire. I want to protect what we have, I want to cover what we have, I want to sow into what we have, I want to honor what we’ve built, and I want to believe in forever with him by my side.
motherhood…
One of the reasons I considered bypassing composing this blog this evening is because it’s currently 10:40pm and I have to be up at 4 in the AM to get my Gum*Gum Drop ready for his trip. I am sOoO excited for him!! He’s going on a trip out of state with a local program he’s part of and it’s a really big deal for him!! I am filled with sOoO much joy that he gets this experience…I feel like trips like these are what memories are made of. And what makes it super duper special is it’s just him. He’s one of six kids between me and my ex-Husband and that comes with A LOT of sharing and almost always having a sibling around. But this trip is something that is just his that he gets to have and be part of and experience as an individual:)
Okay…I know I’m keeping it short and sweet but I while I honor my commitment to this blog I also want to honor taking care of me and with yoga as the last thing I do before bed it’s time to wrap this up so I can yoga and jump in the bed.
Thank you for your time in reading this!
Enjoy the gift of today…until next week!
